The Job

Hey! Angry Chef! Hello? Wake up, you bum!

Better use Sabbath.

YEAH FAIRIES WEAR BOOTS AND YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME

If you’re at death’s door, kick it in and tell him you want one ticket straight to hell.

Start chopping the coleslaw.

Yes!

Gimme an all-day on the flattop!

Two grilled cheese, five burgers, four scrambled, four over easy, three lumberjacks, two BLTs!

Get down you little shit!

Come get me you baboon!

I feel like this soup is perfect, but I don’t know why.

That’s cause you got kitchen sense, shitheel.

Fucker!

Asshole!

So I say, “What did you make for lunch?” and the kid holds up a bag and says “I don’t know, my Mom made it.” What a chump, I always make my own lunch!

Who the hell are you?

Hey Angry Chef, Carl’s in the kitchen trying to deep fry jawbreakers.

When you’re a chef, you do the shit no one wants to do, but you do it real well.

I loving doing the shit no one wants to do.

Anastasia said the guy at table three is a food critic!

Go wait in the parking lot and show him this when he leaves.

The drink is killing me. I spend every single day wishing I was dead.

I spend every single day wishing you were my dad.