What’s with you, Mallory? You’re all like, sad, and shit.
I’m not feeling like myself today…
But I’m not sure zis is any better.
Why do alarm clocks always sound like a scream?
I wonder if that bird has a dead wife.
I wonder why Abacus doesn’t hate me. Oh my god maybe he does but he doesn’t want to say anything.
It’s supposed to be easy! Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I make my Tumblr go?
Today I couldn’t even remember if I got high or not, until I saw a spoon slither.
I guess if my life was a movie, I wouldn’t want to watch it.
I’d give anything for Angry Chef to touch
I’m telling you, Mallory! The Lovely Lemonade vibrator is the real business!
But I don’t like zose robot zings.
If I put my nose and mouth in that cup of coffee, I could drown myself in it.
I’m glad I left those peanuts on the floor for the mouse that lives he- oh no what if she has nut allergies?