Mallory’s Day

What’s with you, Mallory? You’re all like, sad, and shit.

I’m not feeling like myself today…

But I’m not sure zis is any better.

Why do alarm clocks always sound like a scream?

You hog.

I wonder if that bird has a dead wife.

Cough!

Hack!

Hork!

Upth!

I wonder why Abacus doesn’t hate me. Oh my god maybe he does but he doesn’t want to say anything.

It’s supposed to be easy! Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I make my Tumblr go?

June 1st,

Today I couldn’t even remember if I got high or not, until I saw a spoon slither.

I guess if my life was a movie, I wouldn’t want to watch it.

I’d give anything for Angry Chef to touch

It’s okay.

I’m telling you, Mallory! The Lovely Lemonade vibrator is the real business!

He he

But I don’t like zose robot zings.

If I put my nose and mouth in that cup of coffee, I could drown myself in it.

I’m glad I left those peanuts on the floor for the mouse that lives he- oh no what if she has nut allergies?