Cars and Stones

Hey Angry Chef, you wanna go throw rocks at something?

Throw rocks at something?

Yeah! We could throw ‘em at trains! I hate trains!

Hey… we could throw rocks at Carl! Or at his car!

The only thing I hate more than Carl is that god damn car he drives. What a crapper!

Yeah it’s a crapper!

Wow! Carl’s car is all busted up. I wonder what happened?

Maybe it got hit with meteorites. I’ve always wanted to die from zee falling space stones.

But that’s boring Abacus! Why are you reading about stones?

Geology is fascinating, Carl.

But you can’t eat stones, hump stones or smoke stones!

So you evaluate things based food, sex and drugs?

Pretty much, yeah. Take a car for example: you can use it to get Taco Bell, pick up a chick and hotbox it. I love my car!

Or how about me? I could make you a steak, hump you and then we could smoke a J! I wish there was more of me to go around!

Holy crap. Okay. Stay with me here. Did you know you can buy porn star body parts?

Pardon me?

Like a Tina Cream or Bert Filler sex toy! Exact silicone replicas of their humpers! I’m thinking, why can’t ladies buy a Carl?

Wikipedia says I can use a rubber mold. I’ll boner up, rubber my guy, chub down and I’m set. I can see it now: “Try The Carl!”

Man, what am I saying? I can’t duplicate my junk like crappy IKEA furniture. You can’t capture a sunset in a photo! There’s only one Carl!

I couldn’t imagine two.