Never, Ever Listen to Carl

Mmm… what do you think is unpleasant, Anastasia?

I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it, Mallory.

Sometimes I get lonely, but then I’ll have tea with a friend like you! Or sometimes Angry Chef calls me nasty names, but I know he really loves me!

I wish I could blog about happy news instead of awful news.

But zee news, she is whatever you want to report. You could blog about anything you like!

Gosh Mallory! Really? Could I?

Oh yes… you could blog about zee shopping, candy, dancing, anything!

Zee blog, she is your art. Why do you zink you ‘ave to blog about zee bad news?

Carl said I should!

Oh, you should never, ever listen to Carl… ‘ee ‘as terrible ideas.

Hey Abacus, you ever looked at clown porn? Man, I haven’t. I wonder what it’s like… I’m thinking: terrible?

I mean how does clown porn even work? Is the dude the clown? Or is the chick the clown? Hold on, they’re probably both clowns.

Ha! Ha!

Googling it!

You know how there’s like three clowns? Happy, sad and scary? I’m seeing all of them! Should I laugh, cry or scream? Man, this isn’t too cool!

How does Google keep track of stuff like this? They probably have special servers in the basement!

There’s an elevator that says “Nasty Google”.

You see people go in, but you never see them go out.

B1 Unpleasant News
B2 Erotic Clowns
B3 Furry Secrets
B4 Barf (General)
B5 Car Crashes
B6 Fan Fic
B7 Carl