But I thought my news blog was good, Carl! See, my first post is about a robin that winked at me!
That isn’t news, Anastasia!
The news is about terrible things. The news is like “Orphan on Fire” and “Man Dies Trying to Eat Flaming Orphan”.
But I don’t wanna blog about horrible news!
You’ve got responsibilities as a reporter! The public needs to know the truth!
Gosh! I never thought of that! I guess I should blog about unpleasant things. What do you think is unpleasant, Carl?
Armpit hair is alright though. And hairy legs means a chick is natural. No silicone! Actually, if she has a decent ass, I don’t care if she has a little mustache.
I guess I just don’t want to hump a chick with a beard? But I probably would, just to say I did. Wait, what was the question?
Say Abacus, what do you think is unpleasant?
Our disappearing coral reefs. And I suppose Carl is rather unpleasant.
Hey Toast! What’s unpleasant?
When kids get hit by trains! “Have fear! Stay clear!”
Carl’s unpleasant too!
Unpleasant? Douchebags that sip tequila! Where’s their sense? IT’S TEQUILA! Carl was in here yesterday nursing it like a tit! DAMN HIM!
Hi Mallory! I’m blogging about unpleasant news! Whaddya think is awfully unpleasant?
Um, probably a blind kitten in a tiny wheelchair zat is sitting all alone in a bus station…
…until Carl shows up.
Hey Fuzzy, you mind if I smoke?