Carl Has a Theory

What!

Women can’t think properly because they’re always looking for boners!

What!

It explains why women are so dumb, Anastasia! You’re can’t focus on anything because you’re searching for boners!

What!

It proves why you’re so bad at math, Anastasia! Boner distraction!

I can’t do maths good because I’ve got dyslexia, you jerk!

Oh. Right.

Admit it, Anastasia! I bet you’re peeking over my shoulder hoping to see a boner and balls!

I’m not looking for a sausage and figs, Carl!

Sure you are! I bet you’re on the lookout for The Cat in the Hat and Thing One and Thing Two!

CARL!

Look! Mallory’s staring into space! Bet you she’s searching for boners! Let’s go ask her!

She certainly is not, Carl! Mallory is sensible!

Hey Mallory! What were you staring at? Potential boners?

Uh… well… I wasn’t looking at anything…

Um, I was just zinking zat when you drowned, I didn’t know if your eyes would be open or closed.

Well of course your eyes would be open! You’d be looking for boners!