The Poetry Slam
Hey Mallory, I’m performing at my first poetry slam tonight. You wanna check it out?
Poetry, Carl? Oh yes, please.
Poetry makes me forget about being alive.
But… zere will be a ‘uge crowd… I don’t like crowds…
Just sit in the front row so you won’t have to see anyone behind you!
I’m gonna perform a rap battle – against myself! I’ll be dissing yours truly!
You’re going to rap battle yourself?
At the poetry slam…
No one can stand you
You dull whiny drone
When you spin the bottle
You play all alone
You flow like a heart murmur
That can barely keep time
You’re as useless as a uterus
That’s well past its prime
You make my skin crawl
You’re sick like ebola
You sound like a perve
Dry humping a viola
You couldn’t even bang
A street walking sex worker
So you spank it and cry
Cause you’re a tearjerker
Boo! Hiss! Boo! Hiss! Boo! Hiss!
Boo! Hiss! Boo! Hiss! Boo! Hiss!
The crowd thinks Carl is insulting them! I’ve got to help him!
Boo! Hiss! Boo! Hiss!
SAY NICE THINGS!
Um… brown girl in the aisle
You got a real nice… smile
Uh… the lady… with the afro
I love the way… your eyes glow
I’ve got love for all the ladies
I don’t respect discrimination
I spin a globe and pick a country
Before the act of masturbation
Boo! Hiss! Boo! Hiss!