I haven’t gotten a single message since I started online dating, Anastasia.
Really, Carl? I tried online dating and it wasn’t like that!
BrownEyedCutie has 52135 messages
I have brown eyes too! Maybe it’s a sign we were
I know my face and body are ugly but maybe my h
Do you have a cat? I hate cats! Fuck cats! Cats m
Where do you live does your house have windows
What kind of girl are you looking for, Carl?
You know my style! I love the women of the world! Imagine a Jamaican chick slowly rubbing a pool cue! So hot!
Or a Vietnamese broad wearing orange Hooters shorts, just like, leaning.
But what about her personality?
A sassy Brazilian tramp jump roping! A Chinese girl wiggling to the beat! A blue-eyed Greek chick writing a novella!
Carl, calm down!
I’ve got jungle fever, yellow fever, Austrian fever, Wal-Mart fever, homeless fever…
I’ve got a border-line hardcore fetish for polyester pantsuits!
Body Type: hung
Height: super tall
Smokes: blunts and broads
Drugs: what you got?
Drinks: constantly like right now
Diet: I don’t date vegans I’m not eating wood salads
Kids: no seeds
Pets: no alive ones
Job: graphic designer / MC
Income: six figures thick
Religion: All is Wu-Tang
Ill MC seeks broad with
no morals or underwear
I like spending time…
Sipping tequila and watching Homie the Clown on YouTube
I usually notice…
If women are wearing pantsuits
My favourite thing is…
All. That. Ass.
MTV, MTV2, MTV Jams
How to Rap, The Gospel
of Hip Hop, Betty/Veronica
Slim, Big Baby Jesus, The Cuban Missile Crisis, MC Carl (that’s me)
Planet Thickness III, Planet Thickness V, Planet Thickness X: Return to Planet Scoop
On weekends I am…
Getting lewd on the mic
I often wonder…
Who killed Biggie?
My six favourite things…
Jugs. Rump. Jug to rump ratio. Thighs. Calves. Inner cheek.
A secret I’m willing to share…
I’ve never been in love
And that makes me so afraid