Tents

I can’t believe we hiked all day! I’m starving! What’s cooking anyway? Burgers? Pizza?

Dehydrated vegetables, wild rice and smoked salmon.

That’s nasty, son! I’m glad I brought some backup eats. I got a whole box of Half Lune Moons and a six pack of Schlitz!

You want some food, Mallory?

Um, I took some amphetamines, is less calories. It’s zee same uppers zat soldiers used in World War II. I can see a moth sneeze five miles away.

After dinner…

Hey Mallory, where’s your tent?

Oh, I was gonna lay on the floor. Zee whole everything is my tent.

‘Ere is my sleeping sack. And ‘ere is my nightlight in case of murderous burglars. Oh no, Toast! You’re standing on my fancy fancy pillow!

Ha Ha

Hey Carl, you need some help with your tent?

Are you kidding me? I was gonna put on a blindfold to make it more challenging.

An hour later…

God damn you Canadian Tire and your terrible merchandise!

Hey dudes, let me crash with you. Apparently some asshole designed my tent.

There’s no room in here, Carl.

Just lemme squeeze in. Hold on a sec… I gotta get my elbow… wait… my balls… there! Snug as a bug! Hanging with my homies!

Good night, Carl.

You guys think Mallory is into me?

No.

I gotta pee.

Damn it, Carl! Stay put!

You guys are pretty brave. I get crabs, like, every other month.