Music

Hey Mallory, I’m going on a date with this goth chick tonight. What’s a spooky song I can play when I ride up in the Civic?

Mmm… a spooky song…

Duke Ellington’s “Zee Mooche” is zee weirdest, creepiest zing I’ve ever ‘eard in my whole entire life.

When you ‘ear it, you’ll feel your eyelids gently stretch back, I promise.

Sweet! Now I’ll definitely get into her goth biscuit!

Oh… um, if you really want such a biscuit, you should play… uh… “Penny Lane”. Is secretly a goth anthem.

Wow! Thanks!

Hey Abacus, how come you like to listen to jazz music?

I suppose I’m attracted to the unpredictable.

Every note is the unknown.

Anxiety is the bully that pushes you, depression is the bully kneeling behind you, and music is the friend that helps you up.

What are you listening to, Carl?

Old school hip hop. It’s clunky, awkward and beautiful… kinda like your losing your virginity.

Can I taste your weird cigar?

Uh, probably not dude. You shouldn’t be puffing Philly Blunts at your age.

I don’t wanna reminisce over you.

Hey Angry Chef, can we go to a Led Zeppelin concert?

Zeppelin’s dead. Their drummer got hammered, fell asleep and choked to death on his puke.

Alcohol killed Led Zeppelin?

Alcohol kills a lot of people.

Wanna meet a mamacita
So I cruise by the bodega
Looking for a tasty rump
Shaped like lowercase omega