Smoking in Class

Hey Abacus, what’s science?

Science explains the natural world around us, Toast.

Could it explain girls?

It could certainly explain a few things, but probably not everything you’d want to know.

That must mean Carl is a girl scientist.

Why do you think he’s a girl scientist, Toast?

Because Carl teaches that fancy class about meeting girls!

Well, I don’t think he’ll be awarded an honourary degree anytime soon.

Scenes from Pickup Artist 101…

Hey Class! What’s shaking? Got questions about women? Shout ‘em out!

How do you compliment a woman?

Nice gams. Choice cheeks. Stellar bush. Next question!

What’s the best sex position?

All of them. Your wiener is doing something, somewhere, somehow. Nice. Next!

Should you tell a girl about your fantasies?

Hell no! You think it would go over well if I told a chick I wanna do Diana Ross and the Supremes at the same time?

What should you talk about on a first date?

If it’s going well, you shouldn’t be talking at all.

What if a lady is shy?

Ask for a rub ‘n tug, squeeze ‘n please, touch ‘n clutch, compress ‘n de-stress, stroke ‘n choke or skin ‘n sin.

What if you have… flatulence on a date?

If you’ve got a case of instrument ass, smoke a cigarette. Why do you think I smoking right now?

But what about the sound of flatulence?

You’re asking me how to whisper a dirty secret? Seriously? NEXT!