Abacus Solves a Problem

My word, I believe Carl has drugged himself unconscious!

Carl might be unconscious, but I’m not.

Quickly! Help me get the rope and pulley out of my backpack! I can’t reach it!

Why? I want Carl to die!

But… but if Carl dies, won’t you die too?

You think I want to be Carl’s eye? You think I want to keep living and see what he sees?

But you have so much to live for!

Like most scientists, I had problem to solve. I was dangling off the ledge of a cliff with an intoxicated fool tethered to my body, as I argued the validity of life with his levitating eye.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Please, I beg you, our lives are at stake!

Relax, Abacus! I don’t want to die, there’s too much to watch on TV.

Oh thank you! Are you able to unzip my backpack?

Mhhphphph… Abacus… what’s happening…

Carl, I’m going to rig up a pulley and rope, so stay perfectly still!

Are… are we’re still dying?

If we’re gonna die… I’m gonna fire the rocket… one last time…

Carl, what in the heavens are you…

With my last ounce of strength, I used the rope and pulley to lift my body onto the ledge as Carl continued to hang off me, masturbating vigorously.