Carl has an Epiphany

Carl, I really must finish this eukaryotic research!

So that’s when I got high and had an epiphany, Abacus. I only really need two things in life to be happy.

I want to be naked.

I want to eat yogurt.

I was all like, “Yogurt? Nudity? Hell yeah!” So that’s what I did!

My heavens Carl, I don’t want to hear about such things!

Envision this: there I was, bum totally exposed, digging into some full-fat mixed berry!

Carl, why must we really hav-

DAMN IT! YOU FORGOT TO ADD SALT TO THE GRAVY!

I’M SORRY, ANGRY CHEF!

YOU’RE SORRY?

PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! GET AWAY FROM ME, ANGRY CHEF!

GET BACK HERE! YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN FROM ME?

YOU THINK YOU CAN HIDE IN THE FRIDGE? I’LL TEAR THE DOOR RIGHT OFF!

RIPPPPP!

SMASH!

THOUGHT I WOULDN’T RIP IT OFF, DID YA? COME BACK HERE! YOU THINK I WON’T CHASE YOU OUTSIDE?

I guess Angry Chef is going batshit crazy on Toast again.
What’s with all these papers? Are you studying humping? Working on your technique?

I’m researching a recently discovered fungus, Carl.

Fungus? Can you get high from it, Abacus?

It lacks any psychotropic properties; however, the spores are highly toxic.

So it could go airborne and wipe out mankind and start the apocalypse?

Carl the spores merely inhibit a neurolog-

Imagine it’s the post-apocalypse.

You and I walk through a wasteland wearing loincloths. Suddenly, the wind tears them off. With bare asses showing, we being a quest for full-fat
mixed berry yogurt.