The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Not to worry, I brought enough bubble gum for everyone.

Abacus, what the hell are you talking about? We can’t see shit!

Many apologies, I’ve forgotten how well I can see in the dark. Let’s move to where it’s brighter.

I’ll catch up in a sec. I gotta put away my Good, Bad and Ugly.

Your Good, Bad and Ugly?

Well it’s not like my crotch is gonna win any beauty contests.

Carl, we’ve been on our adventure for two minutes!

Relax! I had an itch and I needed all-access! My junk is back in my pants! God!

We’ll be descending very rapidly in the minecart. Chewing gum will help relieve the pressure in your head.

Shotgun!

Shit.

Do you think we’ll see any other gnomes on our camping trip?

Not likely. They’re all deep in The Below, where I used to live.

Do you ever go back to visit?

I… I haven’t returned in many years. I… one would, I suppose I don’t have a reason to…

I’d be sad if I went back to Chicago. I like remembering it exactly the way it was.

That’s… thank you. That’s a very unique perspective.

Man, I can’t handle when chicks wear pants with a super high waist. The 70’s was not a good time for ass enthusiasts.

At least the 50’s was a surprise. What’s under that poodle skirt? A handful of serious donk? Or a butt so boney it would give you a paper cut?

The 60’s was prime. Miniskirts dancing as far as the eye could see. Course, they could be tumbleweeds blowing across the desert after the peyote kicks in.

The 80’s was home to horrifying neon zebra print overalls. Simple Minds sang, “Don’t you… forget about me.” and I’m like, “Pretty sure I’m gonna make that my goal.”