Where Does Carl Work?

What a day at the office! Mallory, I’m totally spent!

What is your job again, Carl? It is somezing dirty, oui?

I’m a web designer. But I’m no nerd! I can’t code, I swear!

But… but zee company, she is sketchy, I zink?

I work in the “entertainment” business. We run websites dedicated to the scoop!

Um, scoop? What is zee scoop in English?

Respect the Cheeks is our S&M site. Latin Thunder is exactly what it sounds like. Celebrate Thickness is newer, not really taking off. And ABC is pretty tight!

ABC? Like zee alphabet? For zee school children?

Whoa, definitely not. ABC is Asian Booty Clapping!

I… b-booty clapping? What is zee booty clapping?

You don’t know what booty clapping is? You’ve never heard of cheek applause? What’s the matter with you?

I… I don’t know.

What did you do today anyway?

Mmm… I did some of zee drawing.

Zen I smoked cigarettes alone.

Mallory’s not perfect, but she’s still luscious.

Zen I pulled some threads of mucus out of my throat.

I gotta find a way to see her naked!

Um, after zat I wrote some poetry about drowning in zee shower.

I love poetry! I’m a sensitive guy!

You know my style! I’m a lover, not a fighter!

Why are the boys that say “I’m a lover, not a fighter”…

…always neither?