Hey Abacus! I found your old army uniform in your trunk.
Why were you looking in there, Toast?
I thought there was treasure it in, but it’s mostly full of old letters. Talk about useless junk!
Yes… useless junk.
When were you in the army?
When I was living Below, a long time ago.
What do all these badges and medals mean?
Science was my calling, so I became a medic and a geological engineer.
Let’s see… There’s my military rank, patches for weapons and hand-to-hand combat and my… field… specialization.
Wow! Did you ever kill anyone? I bet you iced tons of guys!
I-I’m feeling a little under the weather. Perhaps it’s best you head home.
I can’t wait to tell everyone! Abacus the Murderer!
Run along now.
War is awesome, Angry Chef! Flying helicopters, eating Spam, dropping bombs on foreign Wal-Marts! Maybe I should join?
You wouldn’t pass basic training. Bet you can’t even do a push-up.
Watch and be dazzled, asshole.
Bring it, runt.
AH SCREW IT! You can still pull a trigger if you’re out of shape!
Carl, you’re an embarrassment to anything with testicles.
What the hell, Carl? Can’t you even get up?
Just pass me my smokes, alright? I might be down here for a while.