C’mon Anastasia, why won’t you date me?
I don’t trust you Carl, you’ve got busy hands!
You know I’d treat you right!
Don’t believe him! Carl is totally awful!
Son of a bitch! Not again!
You haven’t seen the things I’ve seen! The perversion! The shiftiness! The ointment! The stains!
Why’d you put a glory hole in your bathroom door, Carl? Why do you use it when you’re alone in your apartment?
I like the idea that something might happen!
Remember when you sold a bag of weed to that guy with no arms, Carl? And you then refused to roll a joint for him?
That didn’t happen!
Carl was the photographer for goatse!
I don’t know what that means!
Why do you put a rubber band on your wiener every Monday?
It’s reminds me to take out the trash! What’s the problem if no one can see it?
Carl dumpster dives at strip clubs!
I don’t know what that means either!
Why aren’t you allowed in Wal-Mart, Carl?
I keep telling you, I didn’t mean to make that Wal-Mart greeter cry!
Where do you work Carl? Why is your life so terrible?
I’M A GRAPHIC DESIGNER FOR A PORNO COMPANY! THE WHOLE INTERNET IS PORN! WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO BELIEVE!
Last week Carl photocopied his bum!
Everyone does that! It’s funny!
He was in mid-shit!